Monday, February 28, 2011
In which I recall a similar leap of faith
All guts and writhing like a net full of butterflies. Or eels.
Did I swallow something wrong? Maybe I'm just crazy.
I mean, why ELSE would I be walking away from a job. Now.
There's many reasons: no future, no benefits, my health. My sanity.
The main reasons though are harder to put into words. I'll be getting all sorts of comments, looks. I've already braced myself for them. Water off a ducks back. Yeah. Right.
I worry too much about what others think of me. Something I need to work on.
Chiseling away at it for a decade...I still have a long way to go.
But I'm getting there.
Life is about transition. Sometimes it's forced upon us. Sometimes it's an utter shock and surprise.
Then there are times we step out onto the bridge between "the life that is" and "the life that could be".
Remember the scene in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade? Where Indy has to cross this vast chasm in order to reach the Holy Grail? It looks impossible, uncrossable, utterly idiotic to even try. Then he realizes, it's a leap of faith. There's no other choice. It's go back and watch his father die, have the villains win, have his world end.
Or take a leap of faith.
And when he does, he finds that everything he needs is right there. One. Step. At. A. Time.
That's what I'm doing. I have no guarantees. I'm taking an awful risk, Vader ;). But I have no choice. Unlike Indy, I can't turn around. The notice is given. In fact, The Job has announced I should leave sooner. You know, because the replacement can start now.
Ok. Boost that last day up a bit. I got nothing to lose.