Have you ever posted something on your blog and then, throughout the day, wondered why you posted it?
The post in question is yesterdays about being mindful of your words as you write them.
Why? I don't know. Perhaps because I'm NOT mindful and I'm afraid to be mindful of them and I'd rather just plow through until I get to the end and sing and dance and not think about the edits.
The long dark corridor of rewrites that ultimately leads through the twilight gates.
But it's that long, dark corridor that makes us writers.
It's those hours of toiling over a sentence, of deleting those lovely, gorgeous, entrancing adjectives (heh) that makes us writers.
It's the unending pain of your characters who cry out for justice (or "The End") and you just can't give it to them because, gasp, if you type "The End" is it REALLY the end? Is it really finished?
This desire to pour over every word and see them, feel them, taste them is, perhaps, two sided.
Perhaps I want to spend as much time with them in order to put off the inevitable: walking down that corridor and facing the demons on the other side of the doors that line the walls.
Perhaps I desire to nibble each word because, like Alice, I find a little bit more or less of myself when I follow the instructions "Eat me" or "Drink me".
I'm in search of the enigmatic caterpillar who'll dispense with wisdom I'm not ready for. I'm afraid of the Cheshire Cat whose grin can skip heartbeats and whose twisted logic makes more sense than real life.
Both sides of that coin are necessary on this writing journey. Taste, see, touch, smell, hear. But don't wait so long that the torches on the corridor walls go dark and the cold chills your bones as you make your way to the end of the tunnel. That's where the fun begins. When you make it to THAT door, the one at the end of the hallway, then, THEN you've found your story. Some people will rush through the hallway, skipping over boulders. Some of us will have to painstakingly open every door, turn over every stone. But frabjous day, callooh! Callay! When we reach that door, when we have the courage to open it, we find behind it the blazing fires of brilliance.
That brilliance is our story.
Go after it. Don't fear the process. Don't fear the journey. And for heaven's sake, don't fear your brilliance! Caress those words, but don't hold them too tightly. Let them fly and run after them with all your might.
Now go forth and be BRILLIANT!