Insecure Writer's Support Group
Am I insecure?
You betcha. Not in the actual writing. No, I love writing. It's the idea of showing anyone else what I'm writing. And this fear prevents me from writing at all. I am afraid of not measuring up. Measuring up to what? Someones idea of me? Their idea of what I should be? The more I contemplate this, the sillier it becomes.
Really. Think about it. We are writers. It's what we do. We didn't choose this vocation. Good Lord, why would ANYONE choose to be a writer? No, this calling came to us. And we accepted because to NOT accept would drive us crazier than accepting. Yes, writer's, you're doomed either way. But smile! Madness is contagious! We're all mad here.
So why AM I insecure about sending forth my writing into the great unknown? Judgement? Or the dreaded Rejection Letter? No. I think it's the fear of never making it. The thought of putting my whole life on hold in order to write, to study writing; to read the writing of others when I could be outside exploring. Or writing stories when I should be out there in the sunlight living stories instead. It is a fear of looking back in years to come and having nothing in terms of publication to show for it.
Is there a cure for this fear? Yes. Writing and submitting and letting go. The letting go is the hardest part. Write your hardest, actually send it out to those who could make your writing dreams come true, and let it go. It might get published. It might not. You might be the next JK Rowling. You may never ever see your work in print. So why keep writing? Why keep playing roulette? Because we have to. Because writing is supposed to be fun, expressive, and freeing.
I write because I have to. I write to explore what I'm afraid of. I write to be free of these fears. If that is all I accomplish in my life, shouldn't that be enough?
Yes. I think it should. What about you?
(Learn more about the Insecure Writer's Support Group and see all of the posts at Alex Cavanaugh's blog!)