Wednesday, December 21, 2016
Winter came in sun and wind...
...and a chill that bit as I went from car to shop. I get pensive during the cold times. When the sun hides itself behind a shroud of cumulus I go deep within and dredge up imaginings, memories, and wonderings. Which led me to wonder: when the Earth turns back towards the light, do our thoughts turn lightward as well? And if so, could the turning towards the dark during the days leading up to the Longest Night be the reason I've battled so hard these past few weeks?
I think too much. I ruminate long and can skim the depths for fragments of things long since gone. Current washed is my mind but ghosts remain hidden under seaweed and coral and they tickle at my neurons every now and then. I'm learning to let the past go, even the ghost, drift away and make way for the new. But these thoughts - the hauntings, the wailings - aren't memories. They are distorted realities.
Through the moaning I've heard crashing as if a frozen forest were caving. Large branches weighted by the snow entrapped and I believed I was left to die. To freeze. To become one with the long, cold, dark for eternity. I've had a hard time hearing the rain, that washing that moves mountains and chisels stones. Perhaps, however, I'm listening for the wrong sound.
It is winter and rain is not of winter.
Winter is of Snow.
Not the freezing, driving doom that folds the trees and imprisons but the soft, whispers of cloud down that sing of wonder.
Yes. Wonder. Winter is a time of wonder and of wondering. It is a time for darkness and for contemplation. It is a time to let the old glaciers go and send them downriver with the ever moving, never freezing river of time.
What does this mean for me? It means I've concentrated on the crack and boom, the sturm und drang that is fiercest just before the lightening. Just before Epiphany. What my ears need is the strains of those notes that topple down from heaven with those feather light flakes. The flakes that light upon leaves and eyelashes, that laugh and tease hair. Flakes I cannot see with eyes but with heart and mind.
And what does that song say? Why, it tells of the new year and the chances yet taken. It sings of stories and imaginings, things yet created and wishing, through my fingers, to be born.
Instead of hearing the harsh thrashing listen for the soft beauty. As we pass through this Longest Night, remember the turning of the Earth back to light. Yes, it will get colder but winter is beautiful. It was made for rest, for contemplation and for Wonder.