PS: I'm not participating in the A-Z Challenge this year but best of luck to all of you who are! May the Force be with you.
I've been absent from the online world for a while now and with good reason. Many of you know I deal with an Auto-Immune disease that comes and goes in flareups that cause terrible pain and debilitating fatigue, brain fog, anxiety, paranoia, et. al. Back in February, the flare-up from hell decided to come by for an extended stay. Needless to say, I did not invite it. It came in like an uninvited relative, ate all our food, and took up all the room on the sofa. One afternoon, after work, lying on the couch (because that was all I could do), I clicked on Netflix and started scrolling. I came across a couple of documentaries about food: how it's produced, grown, raised, etc. as well as what i can do to our bodies.
The details are in the documentaries but I will say this: I was bowled over by what many of the doctors and scientists said regarding our Standard American Diet (SAD). I'm not going to preach about diets or fads or ways to become someone who only eats basil that blooms on the second full moon of the year. What I am going to say is this: I changed my diet and I HAVEN'T HAD A FLARE-UP IN A MONTH. Not only did the uninvited relative get kicked to the curb, I tossed out his luggage and his dirty socks to boot. I started walking again and have energy. I've been able to cut back on my day job schedule in order to devote more time to feeling better and to writing.
Through this entire ordeal, ever since August of last year, really, I've been giving deep, unbiased, and unflinchingly honest thoughts towards writing. Towards my art in general. With my head clear for the first time in years, with my mental neurons firing on all flux capacitors, I've been able to weed out the vines that have been strangling my productivity and have started work on several new and exciting projects.
They are slow going but they are beautiful and I am excited.
You'll see a few changes here but nothing life altering. Then again, perhaps it will be life altering, for me at any rate.
The point in all this: that old adage "You gotta do what you gotta do" is true. Many people won't understand and they won't even try. Many will grin and nod and pat you on the head and tell you that's nice. You can shout it from the rooftops and give out advice until you're blue in the face and they still won't listen. But I'm going to let you in on a secret:
It doesn't matter what they think. It doesn't matter what they say. It doesn't matter what they do.
What matters is that YOU are true to yourself and your vision. Sometimes it takes a bit of radical self care in order to find that vision. For me, it was a matter of clearing the path of many years of weeds. Weeds planted by well-meaning people and by myself in one of my fits of "THAT'S what I should be doing" rage. I'm almost through, though, and the path is visible. It's narrower than I'd like. It isn't paved. It goes through the dark wood that whispers of goblin stories and strange tales. If I listen, I can hear the sea. There's magic out there and I'm ready and willing to go after it.
Will you give yourself the chance to get better? Will you give yourself the gift of getting better so you can fully realize the magic of the call that is on your life? Maybe you don't need physical healing like I did, but you may just need to take a step back and seriously reconsider where you're headed and why. Only YOU can make the decision that is right for you. There's nothing wrong with taking multiple paths; you've got to find the right one and many times that takes time. But once you know, once you're so full of YES!!! that you're about to burst, shake off the dust of those other roads, hitch up your belt and, like Bilbo Baggins, let out a whoop, a holler, and let the world know you're going on an adventure!
Happy creating, Loves.